Without hesitation she opened her arms and pulled me into her heart space in a way a mother holds her child to comfort and soothe their worries away. It was in that moment I saw another version of what a woman could be without the limitations of a title.
It was January 8th, 2022 the day I told my husband I could no longer be his wife. I was in one of my most vulnerable moments when I was flooded with so many emotions and overwhelmed by my thoughts in the after effects of my choice. I just told my friend of over 20 years and within minutes she was at my door step. I opened the door to let her in and it’s like she knew exactly what to do and say with assertiveness and a compassionate heart. I cannot remember exactly what she said, but it was something like, “don’t worry we will get through this together”. But what I do remember was how I felt.
And for bit of a back story on our friendship, over the years throughout every major milestone or “fuck up” if we can even call it that for the sake of storytelling, we have always seemed to follow a kind of pattern where when one person experiences something big, the other is not too far long after to go through something very similar. It is that phone call message, “I have something to tell you” and almost immediately there is a sense of what it may be. This is also the type of friendship where many weeks, months, and sometimes years where we do not connect frequently and life seems to take us in different directions. Yet however long the time span, we effortlessly pick right up where we left off and throughout our many life changes and differences, there is an equal understanding of the other person and who they really are.
On this major life changing day, she met me with clear understanding of what my needs were…without knowing for myself what those were. We sat on the couch together and I begin to share with her my deepest feelings. She then opened her arms to invite me in to be held…not like in a hug which we have done many times before, but she held me from behind and allowed the most sacred space I have ever entered. My first thoughts were of confusion because this was new to me and a completely different way for us to interact from our past experiences together. I felt I was resisting this offering and the awkwardness of not knowing how to respond, and my mind was quickly trying to analyze the situation. I decided to surrender to my thoughts and allow myself to become completely vulnerable, and with that I leaned back into her as she wrapped her arms around me and then I began to sob, the tears flooding down my face and a complete collapse to what I was holding on to.
She completely seen and heard me for who I was without me having to explain anything. She was not concerned about anything except how I felt in that moment. She showed me complete compassion and empathy that I have never seen or felt before…not alone from someone who I would never have expected this type of support from…at least not like this…this was very different from anything I had ever experienced. It softened my heart and my ego towards other women, how nurturing and supportive other woman can be towards each other. I had no idea!
That moment was such a powerful healing experience for me. I often reflect back on that time and re-experience the tenderness and sweetness of it. I don’t think she realizes the significance of what she did for me that day, but hopefully this story gives a perspective or a piece of my gratitude and hope for myself to be a better woman towards others. To let my guard down, allow myself to be supported by another unconditionally, and to always keep me on my toes because sometimes people surprise you when you least expect it and in ways that are magical and meaningful.
With much love & blessings, thank you for tuning in.
Vicki xo.