Do you remember ever being asked what your values are? What is important to you, what your beliefs, desires, or aspirations are? What hits you to your core and is the driving force behind your behaviour, actions, and stretches the limits of your dreams?
I am guessing the answer is NO. Like many of us, these are not exactly the questions we are asked in high school, in our career’s, and most… or dare I say ALL of our relationships. And if your answer is YES to this, then I bet you have one hell of a story to tell and I would love to hear how this has changed of life!
Something peculiar begins to happen when we are first asked these types of questions…specifically “what are your values?” A whole new thought process starts to appear, this question leads to many other questions and curiosities, and next you know, your brain starts to hurt. Something so simple, and yet it can stir up many thoughts, emotions, and maybe some disturbances too. But there is a process to all this, we start by challenging our beliefs, what do we truly believe to be true from deep within us, and what beliefs have been projected onto us and reinforced through family, friends, co-workers, and society as a whole. There is no blame here, simply the product of our environment, but regardless of the source, beliefs should be examined with curiosity and how we actually feel about something, along with data to figure out which beliefs we align to and which ones support our overall wellbeing.
When we challenge our beliefs, we get a glimpse into what our values are. We start to see patterns or connect the dots to our past or different experiences where we have not been in alignment with our values and the true impact that it has had on our lives. And then we have a “oh shit” moment, when you actually see a bigger picture and the lens you see out into the world with begins to get crystal clear. And then you may have several “WTF” moments where you see how every interaction, every relationship, every choice has either been leading you towards your values, or away. This can also be a very scary or overwhelming moment with a whole bag of emotions because now the inertia of “CHANGE” is tapping you on the shoulder. And if you really pay attention, the body has been giving you signs the whole time and when missed, ends up being a wild slap in the face.
Now this isn’t a bad thing, this is a glorious most beautiful moment in all its pain, because this is when clarity comes flooding in to your awareness. The clouds begin to part and you see the whole sky that was hidden behind the many clouds. It is often the discomfort that comes with knowing that something doesn’t feel right inside of you that points you in the direction of what your values are. By discovering what doesn’t work, you can then start to explore and decide what DOES work and this process points you to your “TRUE NORTH” compass. And so what happens next?
Well, when we know exactly what our values are and why they mean so much to us, we start to operate from this place of knowing and connection from a soul level. The changes we make have a greater ease or grace to it when we know our “why”. Not to say any of those changes are easy by any means, but there is greater understanding that comes with it. We make NEW CHOICES, that gravitate to our deepest desires, we become more real, more authentic, and more grounded in our essence. And a hard truth to this is that people start to drop out of our lives the more we know who we are, and most importantly when we hold our values sacred and protect them.
There may also be growing pains as we transition into this truth, things to let go of, or acceptance is helpful. Amidst the chaos we can create space for what we are now attracting, which is something that will rock your world on a whole other level if you can be in allowance to the energies at play. Allowing the shifts in all their intensities to carry you and transform you.
This question of values quite frankly cracked me open. At 40 years old, having been on a personal growth journey what feels like my whole life, and the multiple courses, trainings, workshops etc…. why am I only now just figuring this out. Like really, how is this not the first thing talked about in any area of health and wellness, in education or other areas. Maybe it was asked and it went right over my head, which is very possible. This is just one part of what I have been discovering about myself in the Life Skills Coaching program through Rhodes Wellness College. And just touching the surface in the counselling area with so much more to learn and experience.
Knowing our values is one thing, aligning to them is very different and there are many different ways to get there which will be unique to each of us. I would love to hear your stories and experiences, as they offer insights into different potentials.
If this story inspires you in any way, I invite you to reach out to share yours.
With much love and blessings, thank you for tuning in.
Vicki xo.